Hearing the cries...

Yesterday afternoon we went by motorbike with the receptionist from our hotel to meet a very poor family in a little village nearby. This plan developed spontaneously because the receptionist knows our guide Anh and his reputation for helping people.

The information we have about the family before we arrive is that the parents are both disabled and the father cannot walk or stand. They have 2 children, a daughter who is 20 and described as "having problems."  They also have an 8 year old son who attends school. When he's not in school the parents send him to the local market place to beg for money to buy food so the family can eat. At this point he is their only hope.

When we arrive the boy is waiting by the side of the road. He leads us back the dirt path to his home.  His mother is chopping firewood for cooking and his father is sitting on the floor of the porch. We're invited in. There is no furniture in the small 3 room home, the only food is a little rice and some fish sauce. There is a blanket on the floor.

Quiet Vietnamese chatter occurs between the couple, the boy, Anh and the receptionist. We get back on the motor bikes with the boy and head to a nearby market. Anh purchases eggs, tofu, oil, and a tomato, and juice.

Back on the bikes, we return to the path that leads to the home where we drop the boy off with the bags of groceries. He is strong enough to carry them all! He takes a few steps toward home then stops, turns around, and smiles.

With heavy hearts we pull away.

This morning Tonya suggested that maybe Jim Helt heard the boy's cries, and that's what set this series of events in motion! A portion of Jim's gifts for Vietnam will help sustain the family for the next year or until other arrangements are in place.

Oasis of Love - Duc Son Orphanage

The adventures of fulfilling the wishes of Jim Helt in Vietnam have begun! (Read previous post for the backstory). There are 3 of us traveling together, my dear friend Tonya Mayes, our amazing guide and friend Vu Duc Anh and me. And after just 3 days it's clear that while it might appear that we're the ones bringing gifts, a closer look reveals the timeless truth....that in giving, we recieve! The radical hospitality of the Vietnamese people often leaves our hearts full, our eyes watery, and our voices speachless. It's impossible to share it all, but I hope to post a few short recaps of Jim's gifts and the impact they have...on all of us.

Hue is a city of contrast, steeped in the gentle richness of Buddhaism, and also the site of one of the longest and fiercest battles during the American war. The geographic location of Hue makes it a prime target of typhoons and severe flooding, which happen almost annually. Poverty is prevalent, and as a result, children often bear the toll. 

Yesterday we visited the Duc Son orphanage run by Buddhist nuns. Sister Minh Tu heads the family of 130 children! Their ages range from 2 months to 22 years. It's a home, where the primary house rule is Love! There's a firm, yet gentle structure which helps create an air of peaceful playfulness.

Minh Tu is a kind, fearless and progressive advocate for the children. She recently raised money for an in ground pool so that the children can learn to swim. Many of the children lost homes and families to severe flooding, and she believes knowing how to swim helps them conquer fear and could perhaps save their lives during future flooding. And with a wink she said "it also helps keep them out of trouble!" She also arranged to rent a  nearby farm where the children raise their own organic vegetables.

The children were joyful, and the love palpable. While speaking with a beautiful 22 year old woman who has lived there since she was 2 days old, I said "you have a very big family" she smiled and said "yes, many brothers and many sisters" and then she pointed to Sister Minh Tu and said "Mother!"

We were there to meet the kids and to present food and baby formula which had been purchased on
behalf of Jim. When we arrived the children were seated at long rows of tables ready to enjoy a meal also provided by Jim. But before they ate they put their hands together in prayer position and chanted a prayer in unison, thanking Jim Helt for his gift of love. Minh Tu assured us that Jim's spirit will remain there.

Those of you who knew Jim, know that there's no place Jim would rather be....then in the presence of children!

Honoring Jim Helt

Tribute to an EXTRAordinary life….

I first met Jim 11 years ago when he flew to Albany NY from his home in San Francisco to attend a veteran healing retreat. I felt an immediate connection to Jim, and within 10 minutes of our meeting he was wearing my belt to keep his pants up because he'd left his at the security check point in SF. And within the first 24 hours I recognized him as a “keeper”, someone I always wanted to have in my life. 

So much about Jim intrigued me…… His slow peaceful mannerisms and effortless belly laugh, his sharing of early personal struggles to reconcile being born gay and Catholic in the 1940's, his 8 years of service as an Officer in the US Air Force, his activism in the peace movement after returning from Viet Nam, his time as a Theology student and Franciscan brother, his extensive travels around the world with a sleeping bag and back pack living and working among the poor, his life long commitment to living simply, while making a living as a CPA, and how, when he felt happy he’d play music and dance…alone in the living room of his little bungalow.

Jim modeled humility, with no hint of arrogance or self serving motives. His deep appreciation for all people was palpable. He had a magical knack of making connections and engaging people in a way that left them believing they were the most important person on the planet. What fun it was to watch him spread his infectious and extraordinary kindness in the most ordinary places. 

Jim had a deep love for Viet Nam. He spoke openly of his sadness about the atrocities inflicted on that country and it’s people during the American war, of which he was a part. He returned to Viet Nam four times since the war and has many dear friends there, men women and children whom he considered his family. Through the years he’s made a wholehearted investment in those relationships. He's also given consistently and generously to assist those in need, especially to the children. 

Several years ago Jim began to speak with me about his wishes that after his death his entire estate go to help the less fortunate in Viet Nam and he asked that I oversee that process. At first I responded with “of course I will” but found myself not wanting to really talk about it, mainly because that would mean facing the reality of his passing. But as Jim’s health began to decline, I knew it was time to honor his wishes and dive into the deep and often difficult discussions about his desires for the disbursement of his life savings in the country and among the people he so loved.

I was in awe of the way Jim spoke openly and optimistically about his impending death, and how he moved through the process with grace and ease. I remember asking if he was afraid to die and he literally laughed out loud and said “Oh no, no, no I actually feel joy about it”. And as unusual as that concept felt to me, I believed him! He was at peace with the way he'd lived and loved!

In his final months, Jim declined medical treatment. He felt he'd lived long enough and wanted. his resoucres to help improve the quality of lives of people in Viet Nam rather then to keep him alive. 

Jim passed on Dec. 22, 2016 at the age of 76. Since that time a portion of his gifts have helped finance a water system of a hill tribe village, providing clean water for daily use. He also provided food and funding for families near the city of Hue who experienced flooding due to a typhoon and scholarship money for young people to attend school. 

I'll return to Viet Nam this March to continue to help fulfill Jim's legacy that even in death EXTRAordinary Love out lives the cesation of breath. 

Deep gratitude to Jim's many friends, especially his EGG group whose friendship sustained him for many years, namely Bill, Scott, Norman and Paul, to his veteran writing group, and to Bob who made himself available for whatever Jim needed near the end, to his Vietnamese friends and their families, Song, Ha and Son, to the children of Vietnam who lit up his life. To Al a fellow veteran and spiritual seeker, and to Bill, John, CORE Vietnam, Tonya and Anh for their partnership in helping to fulfill Jim's deepest wishes through the James P Helt Fund.

And thank you Jim, for modeling extraordinary Love!

Finding Purpose

I fell in love with Nhu, (the little one standing) when I first arrived to volunteer at Peace Village about 4 years ago. My family and friends know her name and the story of her sweet, spunky style very well.

When I first met her the general consensus among the staff was that she would never be able to walk on her own. I arrived last year amazed to learn that she'd begun to take some short distance solo cruises on her wobbley little legs.

And now she not only walks on her own, she also makes it her mission to walk down the hallway on a regular basis and into the room where those less fortunate live out their days on small beds and cribs. She stands beside them and holds their hands!

What a gift to see that perhaps she's discovered her deeper purpose on this planet, on her own and against all odds! 

I've often felt helpless, and struggled with the very human urge to "fix" things that in my culture seem wrong or unjust. But slowly I'm learning the importance of just showing up, bearing witness to what is, and trusting the unfolding of the life force of LOVE! 

Blessings to you little Nhu, on your new found mission of compassion!! YOU GO GIRL!!!

The Power of One

I met Gary Jost and his wife Kathy at their mountaintop home in northern California while on my way to Viet Nam in 2013.  Although that’s the only time we’ve been together in person, we’ve stayed in touch by phone and email.

 In mid November Gary called saying he’d decided that for the holidays this year he and Kathy were donating $5,000 to the CORE Children’s Surgery Project in Viet Nam and challenging friends to donate enough to match their gift. I was moved by his generosity, sent him the information he requested and didn’t think much more about it. So on December 9th when I opened an email from him listing 23 people who had donated a grand total of 10,770 I was amazed, and quickly realized my Christmas was complete!  I couldn't have asked for a greater gift!  And today, donations have grown to 12,500, enough for 8 surgeries!  

So eight families who have been waiting for a miracle for their child will soon learn that hope has arrived!  And eight children will receive quality surgery and follow up care to correct physical deformities caused by our government’s use of Agent Orange on their homeland years ago. For some this will mean being able to walk on their own for the 1st time. And for others the surgery will increase dexterity making it possible for them to use their hands and fingers. For some it will correct facial defects which cause embarrassment and isolation. But for all it will covey the clear message that there are people in the world who care. While we cannot undo the atrocities of war, we can vow never to forget those who's lives are drastically changed as a result of our countries decisions and actions.

And it’s all happening because one person started the ball rolling! One man who lives atop a mountain in California cared enough about children who suffer from the remnants of war half a world away to make a difference in their lives. He dreamed up a plan and invited others in! The Power of
One, very cool indeed! 

Thank you Gary, Kathy and all who have given to this round of surgeries!  And to all who read this, thank you for caring about the children too!  

Love and gratitude! Paula 

For more information on CORE Viet Nam and the Children’s Surgery Project click here 

Small Miracle - Thank You, Young Living Essential Oils!

Our team’s final clinic was hosted at the Phong Lan School for Handicapped Children in Dalat, Viet Nam. CORE has held clinics there previously, but this year the school was closed for summer vacation so we were expecting fewer kids to show up. Much to our surprise, when our bus rolled up in front of the building it was swarmed by a large group children and families already waiting. In fact some of the children were so excited that when the doors of the bus opened they climbed right on board latching on to us with hugs, smiles and contagious laughter. I thought to myself “It doesn’t get much better than this!”

Inside, the clinic atmosphere was charged with great exuberance and excitement, natural byproducts of a large room full of uninhibited, happy kids. Organized chaos describes it well.

We were in full swing when I noticed a young couple enter with their son who appeared to be around 8. My heart went out to the boy who was noticeably hesitant and extremely hyper sensitive to his surroundings. He could hear but didn’t speak or make eye contact and it was clear that the noise and movement were more than his senses could handle. Knowing that the wait held an added burden for this family, we worked to fit them in ahead of others.

At one point my heart sank when I saw them leave imagining that it was just too much for the boy. When they returned a few minutes later, I realized that they’d taken him out to help him calm down.
It was at that point that I sensed the palpable love these parents had for their son. They were desperate and determined to help him find relief, even if that meant navigating the wait of the  overcrowded clinic.

When the boy’s turn came he was too tense and overtaxed for a chiropractic adjustment, so we ushered him directly to a massage table, his parents by his side.  He tried but couldn’t bring himself to lay face down on the table so we began with him sitting on the edge, feet dangling. Massage therapist, and intuitive healer, Tonya Mayes poured a small amount of Relaxation Massage Oil (very generously provided by Young Living Essential Oils) in the palm of his mother’s hands motioning for her to rub them together and hold them in front of her son’s nose.

As he breathed in the calming scent, his small body noticeably softened and relaxed until gradually he was able to lay his body down on the table.  As he did, he motioned that he wanted oil in his own hands. So we poured a few drops in his small palms which he repeatedly brought to his face taking long deep breaths.

We stood with his parents watching in amazement as his overtaxed nervous system succumbed to the healing power of natural oil and human touch. Tension visibly drained out of his thin and gangly arms and legs making way for peace to take up residence, as he appeared to melt onto the table.  We watched the small miracle of this precious moment in silence. No words were needed.

A spur of the moment decision was made to send the bottle of Relaxation Massage Oil home with the family. The parents repeatedly bowed in gratitude as we marveled at the obvious joy and relief we were experiencing together, human hearts bonding without language.

CORE wishes to thank the folks at Young Living Essential Oils for making this small miracle possible through the generous donation of oils used by our team in VIet Nam. We especially want to recognize Robyn Valentine for her assistance and follow through. Partnerships between profitable companies and not for profit organizations are essential bridges in making the world healthier and more balanced for all. Thank you Young Living Essential Oils!

Love and gratitude on behalf of CORE (Community Reconciliation-Viet Nam)

Www.corevietnam.org

Radical Hospitality

My body’s arrived home, but I’m well aware that I’m not all here. I feel foggy and dazed, staring out my front window at what looks and feels like a different planet. There’s no food being prepared on the street and no groups of people sitting at small tables drinking coffee in front of my house. There are no bicycles filled to the brim with fruit or bread, no children playing or people passing by. There's no symphony of honking horns or near collisions of multitudes of motor bikes. Where is everyone?

My mind wanders back to the way that life in Viet Nam happens in community and out of doors and I imagine that it would be nearly impossible for a person to experience isolation in that culture. Perhaps that’s one of many reasons that American veterans find Viet Nam to be a place of healing.

I asked a young veteran who'd served in Afghanistan and was part of our team what it was about Viet Nam that offered him healing and his response was "It's impossible to be angry here." People are so kind and happy that it's just not an option. 

Another friend who served during the American War in Viet Nam reluctantly returned for a visit after nearly 40 years and fell so in love with the people and the place that he ended up staying 2 years, and during that time his dependence on anti-depressant medication dwindled and disappeared. He found himself happier and more well connected than he'd been in years.

“Radical Hospitality” is what I like to call those subtle encounters where we find ourselves in awe of unexpected generosity of people. It flows naturally and appears when we least expect it, leaving us smiling and feeling included and welcome, and even a little confused about where that unconditional love and thoughtfulness comes from. Our team was blessed to experience this magical, uninterrupted and flawless care of the Vietnamese people where only the present moment mattered.

Despite undeniable and often obscene poverty, there exists an abundance of intoxicating joy and radical hospitality in Viet Nam. While our culture places a high priority on accumulating monetary wealth, the Vietnamese show us that living from a place of simple generosity yeilds a richness that the human heart longs for. They live life from the perspective of what they have, not from what they don't have, and that has the potential to change everything!

CORE Viet Nam offers a great opportunity to experience the radical and healng hospitality of Viet Nam. Trips are planned and led by John Fisher and Vu Duc Anh with utmost care and consideration. For more information visit www.COREVietNam.org or contact John Fisher at 843-651-1086. You're also welcome to write me at pauladaporegriffin@gmail.com and I'll be happy to share more of my recent experience with CORE (Community Reconciliation - Viet Nam.

With love and gratitude! Paula